Judgement
We all do it, judge one another. That's what human beings do, right?
So why is it, that when we become parents, our 'judgy-ness' goes in to overdrive? I have always been silently judgemental, or at least I hope that is the case, as I have one of those faces that says what I am thinking.
We all 'parent' differently. I consider myself to be a relatively strict parent, I focus on Lawrence's manners, and at times, come across as being really hard on him - I feel that I use my 'stern' voice on a regular basis. On the other hand, I have friends who are easier on their children and allow them the freedom to explore - although there is no correct way to bring up our sprogs, we cannot help but pass judgement on the way in which other parents bring up theirs.
Take the typical toddler going through a phase of hitting - if I witnessed Lawrie hitting anybody, be it child or adult, he would be on the nearest stair (or random floor tile if there were no stairs around) taking a time out. Yet when Lawrie has been hit in the past, the parent simply told their toddler to stop hitting... that didn't work and made our afternoon a little awkward. I just couldn't understand why there was no discipline as the child continued hitting, but as I said previously, we all do things very differently when it comes to our little ones.
When Lawrie goes in to a tremendous toddler tantrum (and hey, we've all been there) and as long as he isn't being/hasn't been naughty, I let him get on with it - rightly or wrongly, I don't butter him up or try to distract him in the hopes that he will calm down, I just let him ride it out no matter where we are. I have, on occasion, been given 'that look', you know, the disapproving one the couple next to you in the queue shoots at you because he is on lay on the floor shouting 'no' - yep, as embarrassing as that is, I let him get on with that too! He is after all a toddler, and that is what they do - unlike us, they don't know how to channel their emotions, so they just let it all go. I want him to learn how to control his temper and manage his emotions. But in that situation, you can feel the judgement seeping from the pores of those around you. I've been there, I have judged those parents too!
That said, I am, like any other mother, most judgemental of myself.
Why can't I be the mother that enjoys baking and making a mess in the kitchen on a rainy day? Yes, I enjoy baking with Lawrie, but I dread the mess that we are about to make in the kitchen with the plumes of flour that are going to spread through the air when he puts the ingredients into the bowl - the cleanup after the event takes longer than the baking itself. So, instead of dealing with a horrendous mess, I came to a compromise with myself - we can attempt the baking when he is a little older and for now he can decorate the cakes or biscuits that I make. Score - one minor mess rather than a large mess followed by a minor mess.
Why can't I be the mother that enjoys reading him stories at bedtime?
Don't get me wrong, our bedtime routine is special, and I love settling him down for bed, but reading his books always makes me yawn and feel ridiculously sleepy. Yet he is sat there, excited, looking like he doesn't want to sleep and insisting with enthusiasm that I read more books.
Why can't I be the mother that keeps the house clean and tidy and have meals freshly prepared for when his dad gets home?
I try, I really do. There are times when I feel like I pay the housework far too much attention. My little boy is growing fast and there is always housework needing to be done. If our house is a mess, I feel a huge sense of guilt, a sense that I am not keeping the house the way I should. But my time with Lawrie is special, he will not stay little forever and the housework will always be there.
Every mother is their biggest critic.
Lawrence is a happy little boy for the most part - although as I am writing this, he is throwing himself on the floor in protest to his daddy taking him upstairs for a bath - smart, and never ceases to amaze me. Time is short, he is growing up so quickly and although I may not enjoy him making a mess, reading him a bedtime story or having to juggle the housework, I absolutely love how excited he gets at bedtime hearing about dinosaurs, or how intrigued he is when he smears flour over the kitchen counter. I love the innocence of his world and the way he looks at me when he wants a cuddle. These moments are precious and there is not one thing that I would change about my boy.
Over and out.
So why is it, that when we become parents, our 'judgy-ness' goes in to overdrive? I have always been silently judgemental, or at least I hope that is the case, as I have one of those faces that says what I am thinking.
We all 'parent' differently. I consider myself to be a relatively strict parent, I focus on Lawrence's manners, and at times, come across as being really hard on him - I feel that I use my 'stern' voice on a regular basis. On the other hand, I have friends who are easier on their children and allow them the freedom to explore - although there is no correct way to bring up our sprogs, we cannot help but pass judgement on the way in which other parents bring up theirs.
Take the typical toddler going through a phase of hitting - if I witnessed Lawrie hitting anybody, be it child or adult, he would be on the nearest stair (or random floor tile if there were no stairs around) taking a time out. Yet when Lawrie has been hit in the past, the parent simply told their toddler to stop hitting... that didn't work and made our afternoon a little awkward. I just couldn't understand why there was no discipline as the child continued hitting, but as I said previously, we all do things very differently when it comes to our little ones.
When Lawrie goes in to a tremendous toddler tantrum (and hey, we've all been there) and as long as he isn't being/hasn't been naughty, I let him get on with it - rightly or wrongly, I don't butter him up or try to distract him in the hopes that he will calm down, I just let him ride it out no matter where we are. I have, on occasion, been given 'that look', you know, the disapproving one the couple next to you in the queue shoots at you because he is on lay on the floor shouting 'no' - yep, as embarrassing as that is, I let him get on with that too! He is after all a toddler, and that is what they do - unlike us, they don't know how to channel their emotions, so they just let it all go. I want him to learn how to control his temper and manage his emotions. But in that situation, you can feel the judgement seeping from the pores of those around you. I've been there, I have judged those parents too!
That said, I am, like any other mother, most judgemental of myself.
Why can't I be the mother that enjoys baking and making a mess in the kitchen on a rainy day? Yes, I enjoy baking with Lawrie, but I dread the mess that we are about to make in the kitchen with the plumes of flour that are going to spread through the air when he puts the ingredients into the bowl - the cleanup after the event takes longer than the baking itself. So, instead of dealing with a horrendous mess, I came to a compromise with myself - we can attempt the baking when he is a little older and for now he can decorate the cakes or biscuits that I make. Score - one minor mess rather than a large mess followed by a minor mess.
Why can't I be the mother that enjoys reading him stories at bedtime?
Don't get me wrong, our bedtime routine is special, and I love settling him down for bed, but reading his books always makes me yawn and feel ridiculously sleepy. Yet he is sat there, excited, looking like he doesn't want to sleep and insisting with enthusiasm that I read more books.
Why can't I be the mother that keeps the house clean and tidy and have meals freshly prepared for when his dad gets home?
I try, I really do. There are times when I feel like I pay the housework far too much attention. My little boy is growing fast and there is always housework needing to be done. If our house is a mess, I feel a huge sense of guilt, a sense that I am not keeping the house the way I should. But my time with Lawrie is special, he will not stay little forever and the housework will always be there.
Every mother is their biggest critic.
Lawrence is a happy little boy for the most part - although as I am writing this, he is throwing himself on the floor in protest to his daddy taking him upstairs for a bath - smart, and never ceases to amaze me. Time is short, he is growing up so quickly and although I may not enjoy him making a mess, reading him a bedtime story or having to juggle the housework, I absolutely love how excited he gets at bedtime hearing about dinosaurs, or how intrigued he is when he smears flour over the kitchen counter. I love the innocence of his world and the way he looks at me when he wants a cuddle. These moments are precious and there is not one thing that I would change about my boy.
Over and out.
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